Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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