i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
