a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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