For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
