Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
