I think my vagina is haunted
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
and you fell through a lawn chair
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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