Only a mothe r could love this liver
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
