i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize