I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
