i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize