it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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