absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Randomize