As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
