he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
