stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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