I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
