im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
