my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
