Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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