hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
