speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm like, not good at living.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
