i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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