Plan B is the new Plan A
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
