Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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