i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize