Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
