wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize