dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize