): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize