I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I pour the whiskey from now on
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
