Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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