Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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