P.S. I can't hear my feet
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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