Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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