Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
