so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
This couple is walking their pig around campus
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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