My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
