i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
