i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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