You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize