Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
