we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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