You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
