if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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