Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
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