it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
