what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
