How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
