You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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