You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
