Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
