He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
