Can Purell be used as lube?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
