youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize