he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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