Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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